The important question is “Why?”
Why are you interested in getting into a relationship?
Why are you in a relationship now?
Why do you stay in this relationship?
Is it for her?
Or him?
Or you?
Is it because “that’s just what people do?”
Why do you do what you’re doing?
If you can’t honestly answer that most basic question, you probably shouldn’t be in the relationship.
Successful relationships, like most of life, require willful action.
The first step in taking control of your crushes and making them useful as well as fun, is getting to know yourself.
By taking a few minutes and answering five questions–the first of many you’ll eventually be asking yourself as the process goes on–you can discover a little bit more about where you’re starting from.
Everything from here on out requires that you be honest with yourself. Especially about things that make you uncomfortable. Without that commitment to honesty, you won’t be able to effectively take advantage of the idea of the Grown Up Crush.
There’s no rush when it comes to the process you’re about to embark on. Everyone works at their own pace and has their own comfort level. You may decide along the way that this process isn’t for you, at least not now, and abandon it. Later, you may decide to give it another try and things will just click.
So answer those five questions and keep them where you’ll be able to reference them later. A special file on your computer or a hard copy journal could be very useful.