How to Crush Without Being Crushed
The Art of Relationships, Real and Imagined
A few weeks ago, I picked up a handful of books. One of them, Man’s Search for Meaning, has been on my list for a long time. For years, I’ve been falling back on quotes by the book’s author, Viktor Frankl. They’ve at various times inspired me, kept me going, given me direction. But I’d [...]
Once upon a time, the answer would have been, unabashedly, that I hate Valentine’s Day. For many years that was my stance on the saccharine-sweet, commerce-created, sap-fest that happens every February 14th. Of course, that’s when I was single and bitter about it… so… yeah. As years have passed since those dark and lonely days, [...]
Over the years I’ve made a lot of mistakes in relationships. Over those same years, I’ve watched a lot of other people make a lot more. (Mostly because I wasn’t actually doing anything other than observing… hard to make mistakes of your own when you’re not participating.) From all that pain and suffering (plus a [...]
In order to survive the worst a relationships–or lack of relationship–can throw at you, you need one thing above all else: A self-sustaining core. By that I mean you have to know yourself well enough to understand that things will be okay, that they’ll get better, and that, despite what your negative self may be [...]
Not to get all new agey on you, but I’ve found that this really helps in a lot of situations. One of the core precepts of Buddhism is mindfulness. Mindfulness is tuning in and paying attention to who and where you are right now. It anchors you in the present moment. Now, it’s not always [...]
One of the points I mentioned in my last post, about how to make it through tough times, was to tell your story. This is, by far, the thing I’ve found works best for me and many people I know. There are a couple more in-depth “tricks”–things that make the difference between just whining about [...]
No matter how you put yourself out there, be it in a relationship, by crushing on people, or just as a friend, sometimes you’re going to have bad days. Bad days when you’re heartbroken. Bad days when you’re depressed. When you’re feeling worthless and unmotivated. Days you’re just not even close to being at your [...]