Where do you go?

When you have questions about love and relationships, where do you go for answers?

Who do you trust for advice? What makes you listen to or disregard advice that’s offered?

Are you someone who people come to for relationship advice? Why do you think that is or isn’t?

I ask because I’m curious. (And because it was a busy weekend and busy day and what I had planned on putting up here isn’t even close to done yet.)

While you’re puzzling out your answers, check out That’s What She Said, a pretty darn funny (though no less useful, at times) advice site that some people I know put together.

Here’s their latest:

You should also check out Beatnik Betty for some advice with a more spiritual (though still down to earth) flavor.

So, talk to me, people…

  • Janis

    Generally if I’m trying to figure out what the hell the deal is with someone to figure out if it’s me or them, I’ll ask people who know them. If it’s more about my feelings, I tend to go to former love-interests and relationships, and sometimes I just will talk to someone anonymous or whom I barely know online just because they’ll listen. Am I one people come to? No. Largely because my friends are male, and if I don’t understand men as well as I think I do, I sure as hell have no fucking clue when it comes to women. Although I can usually spot a succubus when I see one…

  • Janis

    Generally if I’m trying to figure out what the hell the deal is with someone to figure out if it’s me or them, I’ll ask people who know them. If it’s more about my feelings, I tend to go to former love-interests and relationships, and sometimes I just will talk to someone anonymous or whom I barely know online just because they’ll listen. Am I one people come to? No. Largely because my friends are male, and if I don’t understand men as well as I think I do, I sure as hell have no fucking clue when it comes to women. Although I can usually spot a succubus when I see one…

  • This isn’t something I can do easily – go to others for advice. I find if I want to do that, then I need to ask the person themselves. I do love to read anon advice sites though, and I do also share my feelings with friends without asking for advice, only an ear… does that answer your question?

    • What advice sites do you go to? Which ones do you recommend to others?

  • This isn’t something I can do easily – go to others for advice. I find if I want to do that, then I need to ask the person themselves. I do love to read anon advice sites though, and I do also share my feelings with friends without asking for advice, only an ear… does that answer your question?

    • What advice sites do you go to? Which ones do you recommend to others?

  • Vail

    I ask one or a few trusted friends — often different one for different problems. Or sometimes I just ask everyone, spread the problem around all over the place and let a fuller crop of advice come my way. And then I as often ignore the advice as take it, but even so, hearing other opinions helps me evaluate the results I get for the actions I eventually take. Or sometimes just hearing what other people advise me to do helps me figure out what I am/am not willing to do myself. Other people’s opinions are an interesting exercise in figuring out what I’m made of. 🙂

  • Vail

    I ask one or a few trusted friends — often different one for different problems. Or sometimes I just ask everyone, spread the problem around all over the place and let a fuller crop of advice come my way. And then I as often ignore the advice as take it, but even so, hearing other opinions helps me evaluate the results I get for the actions I eventually take. Or sometimes just hearing what other people advise me to do helps me figure out what I am/am not willing to do myself. Other people’s opinions are an interesting exercise in figuring out what I’m made of. 🙂

  • Carolyn Hax, Dear Abby, and Salon.com used to have a good one (currently on hold as the columnist recovers from surgery. I didn’t know about the others you mentioned but will check them out tonight. Sometimes it’s possible to find interesting discussions in forums just by googling a concern — that’s always interesting because you can often gain a variety of perspectives.

  • Carolyn Hax, Dear Abby, and Salon.com used to have a good one (currently on hold as the columnist recovers from surgery. I didn’t know about the others you mentioned but will check them out tonight. Sometimes it’s possible to find interesting discussions in forums just by googling a concern — that’s always interesting because you can often gain a variety of perspectives.

  • Vail, your comment is interesting – I like your take on how you can bounce your thoughts off other people and take in what you need when you make your own decision. This extra input can be revealing about ourselves. Maybe I should learn to lean a little more on people….

  • Vail, your comment is interesting – I like your take on how you can bounce your thoughts off other people and take in what you need when you make your own decision. This extra input can be revealing about ourselves. Maybe I should learn to lean a little more on people….

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