Hump Day Crush: Musings on Relationships, Real and Imagined

Random bits from longer discourses running through my head.

I remember the thought of her more fondly than the reality. From a distance, she was amazing. From a distance, she was all in my imagination. Reality? Not so good. At least I was smart (or lucky) enough to realize it quickly…

There was once a time when I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers gently along your skin. Listening for the quickening of your breath. Waiting for the inevitable tensing… and the relaxing. Watching the hairs on the back of your neck or your arms stand at attention and then quiver beneath my breath. Some days I still want that. Some days it’s still you I want it from…

Old lovers can, indeed, be good friends. Good friends can, indeed, be lovers. Sometimes it’s a question of circumstance, others a question of timing. Mine? Always a bit off…

There is a distinct dread that accompanies the prospect of getting into a romantic relationship. Will she meet my expectations? (Probably… I don’t have a lot.) Will I meet hers? (Ah! Now that’s where the dread enters!)…

People are amazed that I’ve been single for almost nine years. It was the first few that were most difficult, when I was still fresh from a long relationship. There’s nothing quite as hollow as those first few months without someone there. Especially if you’d only been apart from them, at most, a month or so over the previous three years. After the first year or so–especially with the slim pickings I was surrounded by–it gets a lot easier. After year five, those pangs of “want” only come back during special occasions. Really, it’s quite easy at this point…

“Easy” isn’t always “the right thing.” This holds true no matter the situation. Some of the greatest satisfaction–and reward–I’ve received has been from forgoing the “sure thing” and working up to the point where I tripped over the unexpected, hard-to-attain. Ask some and they’d swear I did the impossible once or twice. I don’t think I did. I’m just patient…

Lemons, lemonade, whatever life gives you and what you do with it, sometimes you still get some in a cut and it burns like a sonofabitch…

Unhappiness is normal in any relationship. Constant unhappiness is not. Feelings of fear are a dead on sign you should not be there–even if it’s fear of what you may do to them…

I learned long ago to be careful what I wish for. The Universe has a twisted sense of humor (not unlike the genies that showed up in Twilight Zone episodes or wishes granted by odd shriveled simian appendages). Oh, you’ll get what you ask for all right… and a whole lot more…

If all you think of is “her” then there’s a problem. There’s also a problem if you don’t think of her at all. I’ve been in both places. Neither is fun or easy to get out of…

Crushes can teach you a lot about yourself. So can relationships. Thing is, you have to want to learn and be willing to put the effort in to make either of those classes work for you. Without taking the chance of self-awareness, you’ll be happy, but dull…

What you want and what you need are often very different things that aren’t always compatible. Learn which is which and choose wisely which you focus on…

Being head over heels (in general) is almost like being head over heels (in love). Things keep spinning in odd directions, you find yourself thinking and doing strange things and, before you know it, people are looking at you funny…

Friendship is the most pure and common type of Love. We so seldom recognize it as such because of all the baggage the term “love” brings with it. I blame our language. Other languages have more elegant distinctions than just “I like her” and “I like like her”…

“Like” is a funny term…

So is “auto-erotic asphyxiation.” But I blame that one episode of the X Files for the chuckle I get from that one…

Sometimes, the best person for you is right there in front of you. Sometimes, neither of you realize that. (But everyone else around you most certainly does. Eventually.)…

Related to that last one: We always miss within ourselves what is most obvious to us in other people. Think about that when you’re watching other people.

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