Mending a Broken Heart

Those who’ve read through here regularly know that a crush doesn’t need to lead to heartbreak. Heck, the end of an actual relationship doesn’t need to go there, either.

But it happens to the best of us, no matter how prepared we think we are.

And when it does, we have to figure out how to get through it, over it, past it… whatever direction you go, it has to end up taking you forward.

Now, since I’m planning on participating in International Crush Day today (which I’m certain will breed something interesting for the next post here), I’m going to pass you over to someone who’s put together a nice list of ways to mend a broken heart (most of which I agree with, some more than others).

Without further ado, here’s Therese J. Borchard’s nice roundup of 12 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart:

Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful,” especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last. But to stop loving isn’t an option. Author Henri Nouwen writes, “When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.” But how do we get beyond the pain? Here are 12 techniques I’ve gathered from experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their hearts and tried, ever so gradually, to move on. Read More

May you have to use them  infrequently…

  • I’m up for an international Crush Day… Is there a petition I can sign?

    The part of the 12 ways to mend a broken heart that I liked the most was the one about detaching… But not detaching in the repression sort of way but in the equanimity sense– which I think is almost neccesary for a while if you’re going to survive after an especially painful break up.

    Also the part about going through it and not around it… I find, especially for guys we just disconnect from everything and the pain just lingers in the background much longer than it needs to.

    • Agreed on both counts.

      One of the best things I’ve learned over the years is how to be complete in and of myself. Having other around add to me, but, if they go, I am no less than I was when I met them… and I was a whole and functioning person then.

      Time and space remind us of our wholeness of self–or lack thereof. And if there’s a lack of it at the beginning of a relationship, that romance is built on shaky ground.

  • I’m up for an international Crush Day… Is there a petition I can sign?

    The part of the 12 ways to mend a broken heart that I liked the most was the one about detaching… But not detaching in the repression sort of way but in the equanimity sense– which I think is almost neccesary for a while if you’re going to survive after an especially painful break up.

    Also the part about going through it and not around it… I find, especially for guys we just disconnect from everything and the pain just lingers in the background much longer than it needs to.

    • Agreed on both counts.

      One of the best things I’ve learned over the years is how to be complete in and of myself. Having other around add to me, but, if they go, I am no less than I was when I met them… and I was a whole and functioning person then.

      Time and space remind us of our wholeness of self–or lack thereof. And if there’s a lack of it at the beginning of a relationship, that romance is built on shaky ground.

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