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How to Crush Without Being Crushed

The Art of Relationships, Real and Imagined

Hump Day Crush: The Prom (Part III)

This entry is in the series The Prom

Tweet (Telling this story here seems to invite long-ish pauses. That’s a wee bit unfortunate, since it’s really not that long of a story. If you’ve forgotten, part one and part two, go back and read them.) As the dust from the stupefying trip up and the nerves of really meeting my date for the… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: The Prom (Part III)

Published April 4, 2007
Categorized as Relationships Tagged firsts

Hump Day Crush: The Prom (Part II)

This entry is in the series The Prom

Tweet I started this story a long time ago with every intention of finishing it up just days after the first part. Better late than never, right? The school year was 1991-92, my Junior year in high school. The year was near it’s end, the musical (Mame that year) and the Key Club NY District… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: The Prom (Part II)

Published March 21, 2007
Categorized as Relationships Tagged firsts

Hump Day Crush: The One That Got Away

Tweet Everyone has at least one. That oh-so-special other that was with you in the perfect relationship until you screwed up and they bolted, changed their number, and/or took out a restraining order. OK, maybe it didn’t end that badly. Sometimes it’s just circumstances or distance that get in the way. But it ended. And… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: The One That Got Away

Published March 7, 2007
Categorized as Relationships

Hump Day Crush: Why Not Just Date?

Tweet Many people out there get into the habit of dating in high school. After all, that’s when we first have the time and inclination to really interact with the opposite sex to any extent. That’s when all those hormones get pumping and we start to feel all sorts of tingly in all sorts of… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: Why Not Just Date?

Published February 28, 2007
Categorized as Relationships

Hump Day Crush: The Character Crush

Tweet The Character Crush–Also known as the Hollywood Crush or the Literary Crush. Can you fall for a fictional character? You bet you can. This is a pure fantasy crush (for most people, except, of course, Katie Holmes–who did have a crush on Tom Cruise when she was much younger). Often, it rides along with… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: The Character Crush

Published February 21, 2007
Categorized as How to Crush

Hump Day Crush: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Tweet When I was in high school, every year at about this time the business club would hand out a bunch of surveys in homeroom. Those would be collected and, when Valentine’s Day rolled around, for a couple of bucks you’d be able to pick up a “Computer Dating Fun” sheet from the school store… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Published February 14, 2007
Categorized as How to Crush Tagged holidays, love

Hump Day Crush: On the Receiving End

Tweet It’s easy to tell when you have a crush on someone, even if it isn’t easy to admit it. What’s nowhere near as obvious is when someone has a crush on you. We’re all very good at being distracted by our own crushes (or just totally oblivious, like I usually am) to notice when… Continue reading Hump Day Crush: On the Receiving End

Published February 7, 2007
Categorized as How to Crush, Relationships, Lessons Learned

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  • What’s this all about?

    Back in 2005, I was inspired during on online comment exchange to start in on a book about crushes. More specifically, the rules regarding crushes. With a little more reflection, that turned into my idea for How to Crush Without Being Crushed. The main theme to the whole book is that you can learn a lot about yourself from the crushes you get on others. Basically a “how to learn from the relationships you’ll never have and apply that knowledge to the ones you will.” The theory is all anchored in being able to tell fantasy from reality and, at one point or another, being able to detach yourself from your situation enough to clearly see where your influences are coming from and where your wants end and your needs begin. This site is the working document for that theory and a collection of stories, musings and research regarding relationships in general. Praise for WithoutBeingCrushed.com: “I never read any of these series posts before because they were so long, but I’m glad I read this one. It’s wonderful. It reminds me of “The Missing Piece” by Shel Silverstein.” “Very insightful. :) I enjoyed reading.” “This website is a godsend! I’m…

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